A few years ago, I began writing brief articles for the school newsletter. Here is one of my favorites on the age old topic of bullying...
Teasing and bullying are words that are often used interchangeably, but in reality, they are vastly different. Teasing and bullying may both include a student being made fun of or getting “picked on,” but teasing is an occasional or infrequent action. Bullying is an on-going intimidation that harms the victim in some way. Rockwood School District defines bullying as “the intimidation or harassment that causes a reasonable student to fear for his or her physical safety or property, i.e., physical actions, including gestures, or oral or written communication, and any threat of retaliation for reporting such acts.” In Rockwood and at this school, bullying is NOT acceptable! As parents, we might find ourselves feeling powerless and angry when we believe our child is being bullied by another student, or worse, when we realize our child might just be the bully!
If you suspect your child is being bullied, the following strategies might help:
1. In a calm voice, ask your child pertinent, non-inflammatory questions like:
a. What is happening?
b. Where is it happening?
c. Who is doing this?
d. How often does this happen?
e. Have you told anyone?/Who can you tell?
f. How can I help?
2. Contact school. It is important that teachers, administration, and the counselors know that bullying (ongoing harassment) is occurring. We can’t do anything about a situation if it is not reported to us.
3. Provide non-bullying strategies for your child to use should s/he find her/himself being bullied such as:
a. Walk away
b. Ask the bully to “Please stop.”
c. Report it to a staff member
If you suspect your child is the bully, here are some strategies that might help:
1. Staying calm, explain to your child your expectations of how to treat others. It is important for them to know what respectful and responsible behavior looks like and what it means to you.
2. Talk to your child’s teacher or counselor. A positive team approach is often powerful in helping redirect a child’s negative behaviors and communicates that this behavior is not acceptable in any environment. Reports made by a parent or a student can be kept anonymous.
3. Investigate! Sometimes kids take the lead by watching others’ actions, are reacting to a stressful event in their lives, have always gotten away with the behavior, or it could be due to something completely different!
Sometimes it can be difficult for a parent to talk to their children about bullying without becoming emotional (angry or sad). If this is the case for you, contact the school counselor(s). We can help you devise an action plan or provide outside resources.
Teasing and bullying are words that are often used interchangeably, but in reality, they are vastly different. Teasing and bullying may both include a student being made fun of or getting “picked on,” but teasing is an occasional or infrequent action. Bullying is an on-going intimidation that harms the victim in some way. Rockwood School District defines bullying as “the intimidation or harassment that causes a reasonable student to fear for his or her physical safety or property, i.e., physical actions, including gestures, or oral or written communication, and any threat of retaliation for reporting such acts.” In Rockwood and at this school, bullying is NOT acceptable! As parents, we might find ourselves feeling powerless and angry when we believe our child is being bullied by another student, or worse, when we realize our child might just be the bully!
If you suspect your child is being bullied, the following strategies might help:
1. In a calm voice, ask your child pertinent, non-inflammatory questions like:
a. What is happening?
b. Where is it happening?
c. Who is doing this?
d. How often does this happen?
e. Have you told anyone?/Who can you tell?
f. How can I help?
2. Contact school. It is important that teachers, administration, and the counselors know that bullying (ongoing harassment) is occurring. We can’t do anything about a situation if it is not reported to us.
3. Provide non-bullying strategies for your child to use should s/he find her/himself being bullied such as:
a. Walk away
b. Ask the bully to “Please stop.”
c. Report it to a staff member
If you suspect your child is the bully, here are some strategies that might help:
1. Staying calm, explain to your child your expectations of how to treat others. It is important for them to know what respectful and responsible behavior looks like and what it means to you.
2. Talk to your child’s teacher or counselor. A positive team approach is often powerful in helping redirect a child’s negative behaviors and communicates that this behavior is not acceptable in any environment. Reports made by a parent or a student can be kept anonymous.
3. Investigate! Sometimes kids take the lead by watching others’ actions, are reacting to a stressful event in their lives, have always gotten away with the behavior, or it could be due to something completely different!
Sometimes it can be difficult for a parent to talk to their children about bullying without becoming emotional (angry or sad). If this is the case for you, contact the school counselor(s). We can help you devise an action plan or provide outside resources.